by Aaron Potratz, LPC
Shame and guilt are two powerful emotions that can have a significant impact on our mental health and relationships. Whether we are struggling with a mental illness, addiction, or past traumas, shame and guilt can keep us stuck in a cycle of self-blame and self-criticism. However, it is possible to overcome these emotions and move forward in our healing journey. In this blog post, we will explore some strategies for healing and moving forward in our mental health and relationships.
Understanding Shame and Guilt
Shame is a deep-seated feeling of worthlessness and inadequacy. It is the belief that we are inherently flawed and that our mistakes define who we are. Guilt, on the other hand, is a feeling of remorse or regret for something we have done. While guilt can be a healthy emotion that prompts us to take responsibility for our actions, shame is a toxic emotion that keeps us trapped in self-blame and self-judgment.
The Impact of Shame and Guilt on Mental Health
Shame and guilt can have a significant impact on our mental health. They can contribute to symptoms of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Shame can make us feel isolated and alone as if we are the only ones who have ever struggled with our particular issues. Guilt can lead to self-punishing behaviors, such as self-harm or substance abuse, as a way of coping with overwhelming emotions.
Strategies for Healing and Moving Forward
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with the same kindness, concern, and support that we would offer to a good friend. It involves recognizing that we are human and that we all make mistakes. Self-compassion can help us move away from self-blame and self-criticism and toward self-acceptance and self-love.
2. Seek Professional Support
Professional support, such as Christian psychotherapy, can be a valuable tool in healing from shame and guilt. A therapist can help us identify the root causes of our shame and guilt, and offer us practical tools and strategies for managing these emotions. They can also help us connect with our faith and spirituality as a source of comfort and healing.
3. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is the inner dialogue we have with ourselves, often characterized by self-blame and self-criticism. Challenging negative self-talk involves identifying these thoughts and replacing them with more positive and realistic ones. For example, instead of thinking “I am a failure,” we can replace it with “I made a mistake, but I am still a valuable person.”
4. Cultivate Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of anger, resentment, and bitterness toward ourselves and others. It involves recognizing that we are all human and that we all make mistakes. Cultivating forgiveness can help us move away from self-blame and toward self-compassion and self-acceptance.
5. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the current moment. It involves paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help us become more aware of our negative self-talk and the emotions that fuel it, allowing us to respond to these emotions in a more compassionate and healthy way.
In conclusion, overcoming shame and guilt is a critical step in our healing journey. It requires us to cultivate self-compassion, seek professional support, challenge negative self-talk, cultivate forgiveness, and practice mindfulness. By embracing these strategies, we can move forward in our mental health and relationships with greater self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love.
Get Support From A Christian Counselor in Hillsboro, OR
Our Christian counselors in Portland, Oregon are here to support you and your relationship, wherever you are in Oregon. At Life Discovery Counseling we can help you and your partner have a balanced marriage with Christian couples therapy. When you are ready to start, follow these simple steps:
- Find out more about our dedicated therapists in Beaverton and our understanding counselors in Clackamas
- Schedule an appointment with your preferred counselor, or reach out to us with questions
- Start learning how to have a quiet mind and calm heart
Other Mental Health Services at Life Discovery Counseling in Oregon
If you are in Portland, Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, Hillsboro, or Beaverton, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Christian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!
About the Author
Aaron Potratz is Co-Owner of Life Discovery Counseling Services, and a Licensed Professional Counselor. He supervises the counseling staff, writes occasionally for the blog, and provides trainings.