In most cases, no. A treating therapist, the counselor who sees your child or you for therapy, should not make custody recommendations, because professional ethics codes separate the therapy role from the role of a neutral custody evaluator. Custody recommendations come from a court-appointed or agreed-upon evaluator who meets with everyone involved, while your child's therapist stays focused on helping your child cope.
Many parents are surprised by this. At Life Discovery Counseling Services, parents often call hoping their child's counselor can tell the judge what the child needs. We understand that wish, and our court-involved counseling page explains plainly what we do and do not do. We are a treatment practice, and that boundary exists to protect your child.
This post is general information and is not legal advice. For questions about your case, please talk with an Oregon family law attorney.
Treating Therapist vs. Custody Evaluator
A treating therapist works for the well-being of the person in the room. Sessions are confidential, the relationship is built on trust, and the therapist hears mostly one side of the family story. A child's counselor might spend weeks helping a seven-year-old who stopped sleeping after the separation.
A custody evaluator is a neutral professional who works for the court's decision. Evaluators typically interview both parents, observe each parent with the children, review records, and write a report with recommendations. Everyone knows from the start that what they share will go to the judge.
A therapist who is positioning for court cannot be fully present for your child.
That line comes from our divorce and custody support page, and it captures the heart of the issue.
Why Your Child's Therapist Should Not Recommend Custody
The major professional ethics codes for counselors, psychologists, and marriage and family therapists all draw this line.
- The American Psychological Association's Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Family Law Proceedings (2022), Guideline 12, names conducting a custody evaluation with a current or prior psychotherapy client as a multiple relationship to avoid.
- The ACA Code of Ethics (2014), Standard E.13.c, says counselors do not evaluate current or former clients, or their family members, for forensic purposes.
- The AAMFT Code of Ethics, Standard 7.6, "Separation of Custody Evaluation from Therapy," says marriage and family therapists must not provide custody evaluations for current or former therapy clients unless mandated by law or judicial order.
The practical reasons are simple. A therapist has usually met only one parent or seen only part of the family picture. Therapy depends on the child feeling safe to say anything, and that safety disappears if the child believes their words will decide where they live. A therapist who cares about a client has a side, and courts need neutral information to make these decisions.
That is why our court-involved counseling page calls a therapist who readily writes a pro-custody letter for one parent a red flag.
What a Therapist Can Do During a Custody Case
Therapists still have a lot to offer a family during a custody case. Here is what Life Discovery does.
- Provide therapy for children, teens, parents, and co-parents, focused on how the child is doing day to day.
- Fulfill court-ordered counseling when the order calls for treatment. Please send us the order before scheduling so we can confirm fit.
- Write treatment summaries when properly authorized, limited to dates of service, presenting concerns, treatment focus, and attendance, with no opinions about the custody dispute.
- Coordinate with evaluators, parenting coordinators, or attorneys when the right releases are signed.
- Respond to a lawful subpoena, let you know when one arrives, and appear as a fact witness if compelled.
Life Discovery does not provide custody or parenting time evaluations, custody recommendations, advocacy letters for one parent, expert opinion testimony, parenting coordination, or reunification therapy. We also do not keep lists of evaluators, so your attorney is the best person to help you find one.
How Oregon Courts Use Custody Evaluations
Oregon judges decide custody based on the best interests and welfare of the child, under ORS 107.137. When parents disagree, ORS 107.425 allows a court to order an investigation, and it allows the court to order an independent psychological or mental health examination of a parent or the children, appointing a qualified expert if the parents cannot agree on one. You can read the statutes in Oregon Revised Statutes chapter 107.
Evaluations are usually ordered by the court or agreed to by both parents through their attorneys, and they are private pay. Your attorney can explain how one would work in your case.
Confidentiality and Records in a Custody Dispute
Therapy records are confidential, with limits during litigation. In general, records are released with a valid signed authorization, a court order, or a lawful subpoena. Oregon law generally gives both parents access to a child's health records, including psychological records, unless a court has ordered otherwise (ORS 107.154). At Life Discovery, treating a child generally requires consent from both legal custodians or a court order, and in Oregon, teens 14 and older can consent to their own outpatient mental health care (ORS 109.675). Each rule has exceptions, so ask your attorney how they apply to you.
How Counseling Supports Kids and Parents Through Custody Changes
Children often show divorce stress through sleep changes, regression, slipping grades, or trouble with handoffs between homes. They need one place where they do not have to take sides. In child and teen counseling, younger kids often work through play, art, and stories, while teens tend to talk and build coping skills, with parents involved along the way. At our Clackamas office, Monica Dils, LPC, works with children ages 3 to 12 and their families, and Christa Green, LCSW, works mainly with teens and young adults ages 14 to 24. Our guide to the signs your child needs counseling can help you sort out what you are seeing at home.
Parents need support, too. Many come in carrying grief, anger, or a loss of identity they have not had space to feel. Co-parenting communication counseling can help with handoffs, decisions, and de-escalation, and it is separate from couples therapy. Our post on parenting with grace offers encouragement for raising kids through hard seasons.
A Faith Perspective on Protecting Children in Conflict
From a faith perspective, Jesus made room for children when the adults around Him wanted to move them aside. In a custody fight, children can get pushed to the edges, and keeping therapy separate from the courtroom is one way of keeping a child at the center.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
Divorce brings real grief for parents and kids alike, and God draws near in that grief.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can my child's therapist testify in our custody case?
A treating therapist can be compelled by a lawful subpoena to testify as a fact witness, meaning they describe facts about treatment such as dates and attendance. At Life Discovery, our therapists do not offer expert opinions on custody, parenting time, or parenting capacity, in writing or on the stand. Talk with your attorney about what testimony your case needs.
Will a therapist write a letter supporting me for custody?
At Life Discovery, no. Our therapists do not write custody recommendation letters or letters advocating for one parent's position. With proper authorization, we can provide a treatment summary that lists dates of service, presenting concerns, treatment focus, and attendance. A neutral custody evaluator is the right professional for recommendations.
Who makes custody recommendations in Oregon?
Recommendations usually come from a custody evaluator, a neutral mental health professional appointed by the court or agreed upon by both parents. The evaluator meets with each parent and the children, gathers information, and writes a report for the judge, who makes the final decision based on the child's best interests.
When You're Ready for Support: Divorce and Custody Counseling in Beaverton, Clackamas, and Online in Oregon
You do not have to hold your family together alone while the legal process unfolds.
Our Christian counselors at Life Discovery Counseling Services help people who:
- Are parenting children through a separation, divorce, or custody change
- See their child struggling with sleep, school, or transitions between homes
- Feel worn out by conflict with a co-parent
- Are grieving the end of a marriage while trying to stay steady for their kids
In counseling, you can:
- Give your child a space where they do not have to choose sides
- Learn ways to help your child through handoffs and big changes
- Work through your own grief and worry
- Bring your faith into the work, as much or as little as you want
When you're ready, we would be honored to walk with your family through this season here in Oregon.
Life Discovery Counseling Services offers Christian counseling in Beaverton and Clackamas, Oregon. We serve individuals, couples, and families through evidence-based, faith-integrated therapy.
Our counselors also help with anxiety, depression, and codependency. See every option on our services page.
About the Author: Aaron Potratz, LPC
Aaron Potratz is Co-Owner of Life Discovery Counseling Services and a Licensed Professional Counselor. He supervises the counseling staff and provides clinical training opportunities.
Life Discovery Counseling Services offers Christian counseling in Beaverton and Clackamas, Oregon. We serve individuals, couples, and families through evidence-based, faith-integrated therapy.
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