At Life Discovery Counseling Services in Clackamas and Beaverton, Oregon, our Christian counselors walk with people who feel deeply and often carry a lot for others. Many are exhausted not because they don’t care, but because they care so much. Learning how compassion differs from empathy can help you love well without losing yourself.​

Empathy vs. Compassion: Building on What You Already Feel

If you read our previous article on empathy, you may remember that empathy is about emotionally tuning in to what someone is feeling. Compassion builds on that but adds something crucial: grounded action and wise pacing. Let’s start with simple definitions.

• Empathy is feeling with someone. You emotionally tune in and sense, in your own body, what they might be feeling.
• Compassion is feeling for someone. You recognize their pain, care deeply, and want good for them, while staying grounded and able to help.

You need both, but they don’t play the same role.

Neuroscience suggests empathy activates brain regions tied to distress and pain—essentially, your nervous system can respond to another person’s suffering as if it were your own. Compassion, on the other hand, also involves systems tied to reward, care, and motivation to help, which can feel steadier and more sustainable over time.

From a Christian perspective, compassion reflects the heart of Christ: deeply moved by people’s suffering, yet steady, wise, and rooted in the Father’s love.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32

Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion: Not All the Same

It can help to distinguish three related ideas:

• Sympathy: “I see you’re hurting, and I’m sorry.” This can be caring, but it often stays on the surface.
• Empathy: “I feel what you’re feeling.” This solves the “alone problem” and brings powerful connection.
• Compassion: “I feel for you and want to walk with you toward healing.” This adds intention to help and the wisdom to consider timing and next steps.

Sympathy might send a card. Empathy might sit and cry with you. Compassion might sit, cry, and also gently help you stand up when you’re ready.

When Empathy Alone Becomes Heavy

As we talked about earlier, empathy is a beautiful gift. It allows you to enter someone’s emotional world and helps them feel seen and understood. But empathy, on its own, can also become heavy.

You may notice:

• You feel overwhelmed after listening to others.
• You carry their stories and emotions home with you.
• You feel foggy, numb, or overstimulated.
• You feel like you should fix things and feel guilty when you can’t.

Research on helpers and caregivers shows that constant exposure to others’ pain—especially when you absorb it as your own—can contribute to compassion fatigue and burnout. Over time, your system can begin to shut down as a way to protect you, leaving you feeling flat, detached, or resentful, even when you still care.

This is often where Christian helpers and “feelers” get stuck. You want to love like Jesus, but you end up exhausted and discouraged, wondering what’s wrong with you.

Compassion: Caring With Grounded Kindness

Where empathy focuses on sharing the feeling, compassion focuses on caring for the person in a way that also considers what will truly help them over time. Compassion takes empathy one step further. It doesn’t ignore feelings or rush past pain. Instead, compassion says:

• “I see what you’re going through.”
• “I care about you and what you feel.”
• “I want to help you move toward healing when you’re ready.”

From a brain perspective, compassion involves networks tied to caregiving and reward, which can support resilience and a sense of purpose, rather than just distress. Over time, compassion-based practices have been shown to increase well-being and strengthen our ability to stay present with suffering in a healthier way.

From a faith perspective, compassion looks like the heart of God in action—kindness, patience, and truth held together.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
— Galatians 6:2

Carrying someone’s burdens does not mean becoming crushed under them. Compassion allows you to share the load without confusing their life with yours.

How to Care Without Trying to “Fix”

Many of us instinctively go into fixing mode. If someone we love is suffering, we want to:

• Give advice
• Solve their problem
• Move them faster than they’re actually ready to go

But often, people need presence before they need solutions.

Compassion helps you shift from “How do I fix this?” to “How can I be faithfully with you in this and support next steps when you’re ready?”

Here’s a simple framework:

1. Notice
   Pay attention to the person’s emotions and body language. Notice your own reactions too.
2. Name
   Gently put words to what seems to be happening.
   • “This feels really scary.”
   • “You sound so tired and discouraged.”
3. Normalize and validate
   Affirm that their reaction makes sense.
   • “Of course you feel overwhelmed. Anyone in your shoes would.”
4. Stay grounded
   Take a quiet breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Remember: “This is their story, not mine.”
5. Ask, don’t assume
   • “What would feel most helpful right now—someone to listen, help you think through options, or just sit with you?”
6. Support, not control
   Offer ideas, but let them be the one to choose.
   • “There are a few directions you could go. Want to talk through them together?”

When you care this way, you are present, kind, and supportive. You are not responsible for forcing change. That belongs to the person, and ultimately, to God.

Compassion and Pacing: Walking With Instead of Pushing

One of the biggest differences between empathy and compassion is what you do with what you feel.

Empathy might lead you to feel their panic, sadness, or anger so strongly that you either:

• Get fused with their emotion and feel stuck with them, or
• Rush to get them out of the pain because you can’t bear it

Compassion adds pacing. It asks, “What is this person actually ready for right now?”

Sometimes compassion looks like:

• Sitting in the emotion a bit longer, even if you can see a clear next step.
• Respecting that they don’t have the energy yet to tackle the big change.
• Gently inviting, not dragging: “When you feel ready, we can think through options together.”

If you push too hard, too soon, they may resist or pull back. Just like someone being physically pushed across a room, people naturally brace themselves when they feel pressured. Compassion walks beside them, adjusting pace, staying patient, and trusting God to work in their timing.

Boundaries: A Key Part of Compassion

Healthy compassion always includes healthy boundaries. Without boundaries, compassion can quietly morph into:

• Over-functioning
• Rescuing
• Trying to carry what is not yours
• Resentment or emotional numbness

At Life Discovery Counseling Services, we often talk about boundaries as God-honoring limits that protect both love for others and love for yourself. You are called to Christlike compassion, not to becoming someone’s savior. Jesus already fills that role.

Some compassionate boundaries might look like:

• “I care about you and want to listen, but I’m not able to talk late at night. Can we set a time tomorrow?”
• “I can support you emotionally, but I can’t make this decision for you.”
• “I’m noticing this is starting to feel heavy for me, and I want to keep showing up well. I think it could help to bring in a counselor or pastor, too.”

Boundaries do not mean you care less. They often mean you’re caring more wisely.

Signs You May Be Slipping Into Compassion Fatigue or Burnout

When you spend a lot of time caring for others—whether as a parent, caregiver, ministry leader, or helper—you may be at risk for compassion fatigue or burnout.

Common signs include:

• Feeling emotionally numb or “checked out”
• Irritability or cynicism about people’s problems
• Trouble sleeping, headaches, or body tension
• Feeling hopeless, stuck, or tempted to give up
• Avoiding calls, messages, or people you used to gladly support

If you recognize yourself here, it’s not a sign of failure. It’s a signal that your heart needs care, not condemnation. Compassion for yourself is just as important as compassion for others.

A Christian Perspective: Loving Like Jesus Without Losing Yourself

Jesus shows us that it’s possible to deeply care for people and also step away to rest, pray, and reconnect with the Father. He didn’t heal every person in every town. He didn’t respond to every demand. Yet He perfectly fulfilled His calling.

You are human. You have limits. That is not a flaw; it’s part of how God designed you.

Learning to balance empathy and compassion is part of spiritual maturity:

• Empathy helps you feel the weight of another’s burden.
• Compassion helps you hold that burden with them, not instead of them, while staying rooted in Christ.

When You Need Support Balancing Empathy and Compassion, Consider Therapy in Oregon

If you’re in Clackamas, Beaverton, or anywhere in Oregon through online counseling, you don’t have to figure this out alone.

Our Christian counselors at Life Discovery Counseling Services help people who:

• Feel drained by constantly caring for others
• Struggle to say no or set boundaries
• Can’t tell where their feelings end and others’ begin
• Want to love like Jesus but feel exhausted and stuck

In counseling, you can:

• Explore where empathy has begun to feel heavy or overwhelming
• Learn to practice grounded compassion rooted in Christ
• Develop God-honoring boundaries that protect your heart and relationships
• Find practical, faith-integrated tools to care well without trying to fix everything

If your heart is tired from caring, there is hope. You can learn to love deeply and kindly, without burning out. When you’re ready, we’d be honored to walk with you on that journey here in Oregon.

About the Author: Therapist Aaron Potratz

Aaron Potratz is Co-Owner of Life Discovery Counseling Services and a Licensed Professional Counselor. He supervises the counseling staff, writes occasionally for the blog, and provides trainings.

The post Compassion vs. Empathy: How to Care Deeply Without Trying to “Fix” Everything first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

At Life Discovery Counseling Services in Clackamas and Beaverton, Oregon, we see every day how important it is to care deeply for others without losing yourself in the process. This is true for parents, spouses, friends, ministry leaders, and helpers of all kinds.

In this post, we’ll unpack the difference between empathy and compassion, why empathy can sometimes be draining or even dangerous, and how a more compassion-focused way of caring can help you love others well while staying grounded.​

When Empathy Becomes Heavy

Because empathy is so powerful, it can also become heavy if it’s not balanced.

You might notice some of these patterns:

• You feel emotionally exhausted after conversations where someone shares their pain.
• You have a hard time “turning off” after caring for others.
• You carry other people’s stories around with you long after the conversation ends.
• You feel anxious, overwhelmed, or low without knowing exactly why.

Research suggests that intense, repeated empathy for others’ suffering can be linked with emotional distress and burnout, especially in caregiving roles. When your brain is constantly responding to others’ pain as if it were your own, your nervous system can begin to stay in a state of alert or distress.

For therapists, ministry leaders, caregivers, or anyone in a helper role, this can develop into:

• Compassion fatigue (feeling numb, detached, or “over it”)
• Vicarious trauma (being impacted by others’ trauma as if it were your own)
• Burnout (chronic exhaustion, cynicism, loss of joy or purpose)

Even if you’re “just” the friend everyone leans on, or the person at church who always listens, you may quietly find yourself running on empty.

Why Empathy Can Trigger Your Own Pain
Another risk of empathy is that it can stir up your own unresolved experiences.

When someone shares a story that resembles something you’ve been through—an accident, betrayal, abuse, rejection, grief—it can touch those tender places inside of you. Empathy can blur the line between their story and your story.

What this might look like:

• You suddenly feel intense anger on their behalf that seems bigger than the situation.
• You find yourself wanting to “fix” things quickly, give strong advice, or take sides.
• You notice your body reacting—tight chest, stomach knots, tears—more than seems expected.
• You feel pulled into their emotions and lose your sense of calm or objectivity.

Neuroscience again helps explain this. The same brain regions that activate when we empathize with someone often overlap with the regions involved in our own distress. If you’re not grounded, your system can treat the other person’s situation almost like it’s happening to you.

This doesn’t mean empathy is bad. It simply means it’s powerful—and powerful things need to be handled with care.

What Is Compassion? Caring With Grounded Love

While empathy is “feeling with” someone, compassion is more like “caring for” someone with warmth and a desire to help, without being swept away by their emotions.

Compassion includes:

• Noticing someone’s pain
• Feeling concern and care for them
• Wanting their good and their healing
• Staying steady enough to be helpful

Research suggests that compassion involves brain networks tied more to positive emotions, warmth, and motivation to help, instead of the networks most tied to personal distress. In other words, compassion can feel more like love-in-action and less like drowning in someone else’s hurt.

From a Christian perspective, compassion reflects the heart of Christ.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32

Jesus consistently moved toward people in pain with deep compassion, yet He remained grounded in His identity, purpose, and relationship with the Father. That’s a beautiful picture of what healthy compassion can look like for us as well.

Empathy vs. Compassion at a Glance

Here is a simple way to see the difference:

You need both empathy and compassion. Together, they help you connect deeply and also stay grounded enough to be genuinely helpful.

Using Empathy Wisely: A Tool, Not a Lifestyle

Empathy can be incredibly healing when used intentionally.

Healthy empathy:

• Helps someone feel deeply understood.
• Shows that their feelings make sense in light of what they’ve lived through.
• Builds trust and a sense of safety in the relationship.

The key is to treat empathy like a tool, not a constant state.

You might:

1. Tune in briefly to what the person is feeling.
2. Name or reflect that feeling (“This sounds incredibly heavy,” “I can hear how alone you’ve felt”).
3. Step back internally—take a breath, notice your own body, reconnect with your sense of self.
4. Help them move forward, rather than staying stuck in the emotion together.

If you stay fused with their emotions, it’s like both of you are in deep water with no one on the shore holding a lifeline. Compassion allows you to care deeply while keeping one foot on solid ground.

Signs You May Be Overusing Empathy

If you rely mostly on empathy and less on compassion, you might notice:

• You feel responsible for other people’s emotions.
• You feel guilty saying no or setting boundaries.
• You struggle to separate your feelings from others’ feelings.
• You feel drained after being there for people.
• You start to fake caring because you’re too tired to really feel it anymore.

These can be signals that your heart is overloaded and needs care. It may be time to gently shift from “I must feel everything with you” to “I can care for you and still care for me.”

Growing in Compassion Without Going Numb

Some people respond to emotional overload by shutting down: “If feeling with people hurts this much, I just won’t feel at all.” But that’s not what God invites us into. Scripture calls us to compassion, not disconnection.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
— Galatians 6:2

Here are some ways to grow in compassion while staying emotionally healthy:

1. Notice what you’re feeling.
   Take a quiet moment after a hard conversation to ask, “What am I carrying right now?”
2. Name what is yours and what is theirs.
   Their story is their story. Your story is yours. It’s okay to feel touched by their pain without making it your job to fix it.
3. Invite God into it.
   Pray for the person and also for your own heart:
   “Lord, help me love them well without losing myself. Show me what is mine to carry and what I can entrust to You.”
4. Practice grounding.
   Simple practices like deep breathing, stepping outside, feeling your feet on the floor, or journaling can help your body come back to a calmer state.
5. Set gentle boundaries.
   It’s okay to say, “I really want to hear more about this, but I need a short break,” or, “I care about you so much, and I think it could help to bring this to a counselor or pastor too.”
6. Seek your own support.
   If you notice that other people’s pain keeps stirring up your own, or you feel stuck in overwhelm, talking with a Christian counselor can help you sort through what you’re carrying and why it hits you so hard.

A Christian Perspective: Reflecting God’s Heart

As followers of Jesus, we’re invited to reflect His heart toward people who are hurting. He is both deeply moved by suffering and perfectly grounded in truth and love.

Jesus wept with those who grieved (empathy), and He also brought hope, healing, and guidance (compassion). He never lost Himself in the crowd’s emotions; instead, He often withdrew to pray and reconnect with the Father. That rhythm—moving toward people in love and then pulling away to be restored—is a pattern we can learn from.

If you are someone who feels deeply, you are not “too much.” Your sensitivity is a gift. The invitation is to learn how to steward that gift so it doesn’t burn you out, but instead becomes a channel of God’s love and compassion to others.

When You Need Help to Carry What You’re Carrying, Consider Therapy

If you’re in Clackamas, Beaverton, or anywhere in Oregon through online counseling, and you recognize yourself in this—exhausted helper, deeply feeling friend, caregiving spouse or parent—you don’t have to sort this out alone.

Our Christian counselors at Life Discovery Counseling Services walk with people who:

• Feel overwhelmed by others’ pain
• Struggle with burnout, anxiety, or compassion fatigue
• Have a hard time setting boundaries without guilt
• Want to love like Jesus but don’t know how to do it sustainably

Together, we can help you:

• Understand your patterns of empathy and compassion
• Heal from what other people’s stories may have stirred up in you
• Learn practical, faith-integrated tools to stay grounded while you care for others

You’re allowed to care deeply and still be okay. You’re allowed to love others without losing yourself. If you’re ready to explore what that might look like in your life, we would be honored to walk alongside you.

About the Author: Therapist Aaron Potratz

Aaron Potratz is Co-Owner of Life Discovery Counseling Services and a Licensed Professional Counselor. He supervises the counseling staff, writes occasionally for the blog, and provides trainings.

The post Empathy vs. Compassion: Caring Deeply Without Burning Out first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

Understanding Anxiety: You Are Not Alone

If you’re experiencing anxiety, you might notice symptoms like:

• Racing thoughts or constant worry
• Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
• Physical symptoms such as a racing heart, muscle tension, or stomach upset
• Avoidance of situations that trigger fear

It’s important to remember that anxiety is a normal human response to stress, but when it starts to interfere with daily life, relationships, or your sense of peace, it’s time to seek support.

Many people struggle with anxiety in silence, feeling embarrassed or ashamed. But you don’t have to face this alone. Reaching out for help is a courageous first step toward healing.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

The Barriers to Seeking Help

Sometimes, anxiety is compounded by the belief that we “should” be able to handle things on our own, or that faith alone should make us immune to worry. But even faithful followers of Christ experienced fear and anxiety—think of David’s cries in the Psalms or Elijah’s exhaustion in the wilderness.

God invites us to bring our worries to Him and to seek wise counsel from others. There is no shame in needing support; in fact, scripture encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).

Scriptural Encouragement for Anxious Times

The Bible is filled with encouragement for those who feel anxious or afraid. Consider these verses:

• “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6-7
• “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” — Psalm 56:3

These passages remind us that God cares deeply for us and offers peace that surpasses our circumstances.

Practical Faith-Based Strategies for Coping with Anxiety

While faith provides a strong foundation, God also equips us with practical tools and resources. Here are several strategies you can begin using today:

1. Ground Yourself in Prayer and Scripture

• Start and end your day with prayer, asking God to calm your mind and guide your steps.
• Meditate on scriptures that speak to God’s faithfulness and peace (such as Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 6:34, or Psalm 94:19).
• Write down verses and keep them visible—on your mirror, in your car, or at your desk.

2. Practice Mindful Breathing and Relaxation

• Take a few moments to breathe deeply, focusing on the sensation of air entering and leaving your body.
• As you breathe, silently repeat a calming scripture or phrase, such as “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
• Progressive muscle relaxation, gentle stretching, or a short walk can also help release physical tension.

3. Challenge Anxious Thoughts with Truth

• Notice when your thoughts spiral into “what ifs” or worst-case scenarios.
• Ask yourself: Is this thought true? What does God’s Word say about this situation?
• Replace anxious thoughts with affirmations rooted in scripture, such as “God is with me,” or “I am not alone.”

4. Connect with Supportive People

• Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or church leader.
• Join a small group or Bible study for encouragement and accountability.
• Remember, community is a gift—let others pray for you and walk alongside you.

5. Establish Healthy Routines

• Maintain a regular sleep schedule and eat nourishing foods.
• Engage in physical activity, even if it’s just a short daily walk.
• Limit caffeine, sugar, and screen time, especially before bed.

6. Consider Professional Christian Counseling

• Sometimes, anxiety persists despite our best efforts. That’s when professional support can make a significant difference.
• At Life Discovery Counseling Services, our counselors blend clinical expertise with Biblical wisdom, helping you develop personalized strategies for managing anxiety.
• Counseling provides a safe, confidential space to process your experiences, learn new coping skills, and grow in faith.

Integrating Faith and Evidence-Based Counseling

At Life Discovery Counseling Services, we believe that faith and science work together to promote healing. Our approach to anxiety includes:

• Biblical Wisdom: We draw on scripture to remind you of God’s love, presence, and promises.
• Clinical Techniques: We use proven methods such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and relaxation training to help you manage anxiety symptoms.
• Personalized Care: Every person’s experience with anxiety is unique. We tailor our support to your needs, respecting your pace and honoring your faith journey.
• Whole-Person Focus: We address emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of anxiety, helping you build resilience and hope for the future.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” — John 14:27

Taking the Next Step Toward Peace

If you’re struggling with anxiety, remember that you are not alone and that real change is possible. God is with you, and there are practical steps you can take to find relief. Start by inviting Him into your worry, reaching out for support, and taking small steps each day toward healing.

If you’re ready to take the next step, our team at Life Discovery Counseling Services is here to walk with you. Whether you’re in Clackamas, Beaverton, or anywhere in Oregon through online therapy, we offer compassionate, faith-integrated counseling that meets you where you are.

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” — Psalm 94:19

Are you ready to find peace and hope in the midst of anxiety? Contact Life Discovery Counseling Services today to schedule a session with one of our caring Christian counselors. You don’t have to walk this journey alone—real support starts here.

The post Coping with Anxiety: Faith-Based Strategies That Work first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

Understanding Your Struggles

It’s important to acknowledge that everyone faces difficulties in life. No one is immune to pain, disappointment, or uncertainty. Sometimes these challenges are visible, like a job loss or a health diagnosis. Other times, they’re hidden beneath the surface, manifesting as loneliness, anxiety, or a sense of purposelessness.

But you don’t have to carry these burdens alone. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of courage and faith. At Life Discovery Counseling Services, our counselors are committed to integrating Biblical wisdom with proven clinical techniques. This approach honors your faith while providing you with the tools and support you need to move forward.

“I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.” — Psalm 16:7

Biblical counseling isn’t just about offering advice—it’s about walking alongside you, listening deeply, and helping you see your situation through the lens of God’s truth and grace. Jesus Himself modeled this approach, taking time to stop, listen, and respond to the true needs of those around Him.

Practical Steps for Moving Forward, Even When Times Are Tough

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to become paralyzed by fear or uncertainty. However, even the smallest steps can help you regain a sense of control and hope. Here are some practical ways to begin moving forward:

1. Reach Out to Trusted Friends or Family

Isolation can intensify feelings of despair. Sharing your burdens with someone you trust can lighten your load and provide much-needed perspective. Sometimes, simply voicing your struggles out loud can help you process your emotions and feel less alone. Consider:

• Calling a close friend or family member to talk about how you’re feeling.
• Asking for prayer or support from your church community.
• Attending a small group or Bible study for encouragement and accountability.

2. Consider Professional Counseling for Guidance

Seeking professional counseling is a powerful step toward healing. A Christian counselor can help you:

• Process your experiences and emotions in a safe, confidential environment.
• Identify the root causes of your distress.
• Develop a personalized plan of action rooted in scripture and evidence-based strategies.
• Learn new coping skills and ways to manage stress, anxiety, or depression.

Remember, counseling is not just for “crises.” Many people benefit from the support and insight a counselor provides, even in less intense seasons of life.

3. Reflect on Scripture and Prayer for Comfort and Direction

God’s Word is a wellspring of wisdom, comfort, and hope. Regularly spending time in scripture and prayer can:

• Remind you of God’s promises and faithfulness.
• Offer encouragement when you feel weary or discouraged.
• Help you see your situation from a new, hope-filled perspective.

Some passages to consider during difficult times include Psalm 23, Isaiah 41:10, Romans 8:28, and Philippians 4:6-7. Journaling your prayers or writing down meaningful verses can also help anchor your heart in truth.

4. Take Care of Your Physical and Emotional Health

Difficult times can take a toll on your body as well as your mind. Simple self-care practices can make a significant difference:

• Maintain a consistent sleep schedule.
• Eat nourishing foods and stay hydrated.
• Engage in gentle physical activity, such as walking or stretching.
• Allow yourself to rest and recharge, giving yourself grace for what you’re able to do each day.

5. Set Small, Achievable Goals

When life feels overwhelming, large tasks can seem impossible. Break your days into small, manageable steps:

• Make a short list of daily tasks and celebrate each accomplishment.
• Focus on what you can control, rather than what you can’t.
• Give yourself permission to take things one day at a time.

Integrating Faith and Evidence-Based Support

At Life Discovery Counseling Services, we believe that true transformation involves both faith and practical action. Our therapy approach is rooted in the understanding that God cares about every part of your life—spiritual, emotional, and physical. Here’s how we integrate faith and evidence-based support:

Biblical Wisdom

The Bible offers timeless principles for hope, healing, and growth. We draw on scripture to encourage, guide, and empower you in your journey. God’s Word reminds us that we are never alone and that His love is steadfast, even when our circumstances change.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

Clinical Expertise

Our counselors are trained in evidence-based techniques, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, solution-focused strategies, and mindfulness practices. These tools are effective for managing anxiety, depression, grief, and more. We help you:

• Identify unhelpful thought patterns and replace them with truth.
• Develop healthy coping skills for managing stress and emotions.
• Practice new behaviors that support your goals and values.

Personalized Care

Every person’s story is unique. We take the time to understand your individual needs, respecting your pace and honoring your faith journey. Whether you’re seeking support for yourself, your marriage, or your family, we tailor our approach to help you experience lasting change.

Faith and Science Working Together

We believe that faith and science are not at odds—they complement each other. God has given us both spiritual resources and practical wisdom to navigate life’s challenges. By integrating both, we offer a holistic approach to healing that addresses the whole person.

Inspiration and Action: Moving Forward with Hope

When you’re in the midst of a struggle, it’s easy to lose sight of hope. But hope is not just a feeling—it’s an active choice to trust that God is working, even when you can’t see the outcome. 

Consider these steps as you move forward:

• Take time to pray and ask God for guidance. Invite Him into your pain, your questions, and your uncertainty. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers—God promises to walk with you every step of the way.
• Reflect on what you’re experiencing and name your feelings honestly. Sometimes, simply acknowledging your emotions can bring relief and clarity. God welcomes your honesty and meets you right where you are.
• Reach out for support, whether through friends, family, or a counselor. You were not created to walk this journey alone. Community is a gift from God, and sharing your burdens can lighten the load.
• Set small, achievable goals each day. Progress may be slow, but every step forward is meaningful. Celebrate small victories and give yourself grace for setbacks.
• Return to scripture for encouragement. God’s promises are true, even when circumstances are hard. Verses like Jeremiah 29:11 (“For I know the plans I have for you… plans to give you hope and a future”) remind us that God is always at work, even in the waiting.
• Practice gratitude, even in small ways. Noticing God’s faithfulness in everyday moments can shift your perspective and renew your hope.
• Allow yourself to rest. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to pause, breathe, and care for yourself along the way.

Hope & Encouragement for the Journey Ahead

You may feel stuck or hopeless right now, but remember—change is possible. With the right support, faith, and practical steps, you can experience real growth and renewed hope.

• You are not alone. God promises to be with you, even in the darkest valleys (Psalm 23:4).
• Small steps matter. Each act of reaching out, each prayer, and each moment of reflection brings you closer to healing.
• There is hope. No situation is beyond God’s ability to redeem and restore.

If you’re ready to take the next step, our team of Portland-area Christian therapists at Life Discovery Counseling Services is here to walk with you. Whether you’re in Clackamas, Beaverton, or anywhere in the state, through online therapy in Oregon, we offer compassionate, faith-integrated counseling tailored to your needs.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Take the Next Step: Consider Christian Counseling Near Portland, OR

If you’re struggling and searching for hope, consider reaching out today. Our counselors are ready to listen, support, and help you discover the path to healing and renewed purpose. Remember, with faith and the right support, you can find hope—even in difficult times.

Ready to begin your journey toward hope and healing? Contact Life Discovery Counseling Services today to schedule a session with one of our compassionate Christian counselors. We’re here for you—every step of the way. Reach out to Life Discovery Counseling. We’re here to support you with Christian counseling in Portland, tailored to your needs. Together, we can help you achieve the spiritual growth and emotional wellness you deserve. Schedule an appointment now!

About the Author: Therapist Aaron Potratz

Aaron Potratz is Co-Owner of Life Discovery Counseling Services and a Licensed Professional Counselor. He supervises the counseling staff, writes occasionally for the blog, and provides trainings.

The post Finding Hope in Difficult Times first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

Prioritize Prayer and Meditation

Prayer and meditation are vital tools for nurturing both faith and mental health. Setting aside time each day for quiet reflection and communication with God can help center your mind and spirit. Whether it’s a few moments in the morning, a break during your lunch hour, or a peaceful evening prayer, these practices can reduce stress and bring clarity.

Tip: Create a prayer journal to write down your thoughts, prayers, and reflections. This can help you track your spiritual growth and serve as a reminder of God’s presence in your life.

Engage in Community

Community is essential in both faith and mental health. Surround yourself with supportive, like-minded individuals who can offer encouragement and accountability. Engaging in church activities, Bible study groups, or even online faith communities can provide a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation.

Encouragement: Remember, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20). Lean on your community for support and encouragement.

Practice Self-Compassion

It’s important to be kind to yourself, especially during stressful times. Self-compassion involves recognizing your own struggles and offering yourself the same grace you would extend to others. This practice aligns with Christian principles of love and forgiveness.

Tip: When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to recite a comforting scripture or affirmation. Remind yourself that you are a beloved child of God, deserving of care and compassion.

Seek Professional Help

Faith-based mental health counseling can be an invaluable resource. Professional counselors who share your faith can help you navigate life’s challenges while integrating Christian principles into your treatment. They can offer tools and strategies tailored to your unique spiritual and mental health needs.

Encouragement: There is no shame in seeking help. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Seeking guidance from a professional can provide you with the support you need to thrive.

Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle

Your physical health can significantly impact your mental and spiritual well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and time outdoors can enhance your overall health. Consider these activities as part of your self-care routine, offering them up as acts of stewardship over the body God has given you.

Tip: Incorporate your faith into your health practices. For example, listen to worship music during your workouts or start your meals with a prayer of gratitude.

Find Balance in Scripture

The Bible offers a wealth of wisdom on finding peace and balance. Regularly reading and reflecting on scripture can provide comfort and guidance. Verses that speak to God’s love, peace, and strength can be particularly uplifting during stressful times.

Encouragement: Memorize scriptures that resonate with you and repeat them in moments of stress. Verses like Philippians 4:6-7 remind us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Balancing faith and mental health is a continual process that requires intentionality and grace. By integrating these tips and seeking support when needed, you can nurture your spiritual and mental well-being even in the most stressful of times. Remember, you are not alone on this journey—your faith, community, and professional counselors are here to support you every step of the way.Begin Working With a Christian Counselor in Hillsboro, OR

At Life Discovery Counseling, we are dedicated to helping you find harmony between your faith and mental health. We serve clients in Portland, Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, Hillsboro, and Beaverton, Oregon. Our services include counseling for individuals, couples, and families, as well as treatment for depression, anxiety, PTSD, trauma, codependency, and more. Our team of experienced counselors integrates Christian principles with evidence-based therapeutic practices to provide holistic and compassionate care. Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:

• Reach out to us for faith-based mental health counseling tailored to your unique needs.
• Meet with a caring therapist.
• Start finding a healthier balance today!

Other Services Offered at Life Discovery Counseling in Oregon

Christian counseling isn’t the only service offered at Life Discovery Counseling. If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, Hillsboro, or Beaverton, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Other services offered include support for children in counseling. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy, PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

The post How to Balance Faith and Mental Health in a Stressful World first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

This is the 4th and final post in this series on Stress and Distress. The first post introduced the idea that stress occurs when you experience disruption in your relationship with yourself, with God, or with another person. The second post addressed disruptions in your relationship with yourself. The third post focused on disruptions in your relationship with God. This final post tackles disruptions in your relationships with other people.

It’s been a LONG year for relationships

Even for the most introverted among us, relationships are vital for a flourishing life. And right now, you’re likely feeling the cumulative effect of a loss of relationships. After over a year of social distancing, working from home, and avoiding gatherings both large and small, we’re collectively experiencing a grievous relational deficit. We’ve lost the very relational safety net we need to navigate the losses caused by the coronavirus.

We’re made for connection

The Bible, social science, and neuroscience agree: human beings are made for relationships. The Bible begins with the provocative statement, “It is not good for man to be alone…” (Gen 2:18), and ends with a magnificent wedding celebration (Revelation 19:6-10). The central Bible invitation is to become a part of the family of God as dearly loved children through faith in Jesus. And the Bible is filled with kind warnings and instructions regarding how to live in loving, caring, life-giving relationships. 

Stress and Relationships: Belonging is Biological

Unsurprisingly, recent neuroscience research has confirmed that our need for relationships is hardwired into our biology. The second post in this series on stress introduced the limbic part of your brain. This part of your brain includes the nucleus accumbens which serves as the pain and pleasure center. Brain scans reveal how this part of your brain lights up when you feel connected to someone you love. It also registers intense, feel-like-you’re-going-to-die pain when you don’t get the connection you want.

In some ways, this part of your brain is like a relational magnet that first activated the moment you emerged from your mother’s womb. It is the part of your brain associated with your craving for relational attachment. Because attachment is so important, attachment pain is the greatest pain you experience (e.g. death of a loved one, divorce, or other separations from people you love) and attachment joy provides your greatest joys (e.g. your wedding day, the arrival of a baby, reunion with long-lost friends, the reconciliation of an important relationship). 

Longing for belonging can result in increased stress and distress

With the potential for both great joy and great pain in relationships with others, it makes sense that you experience emotional distress in relationships. Your brain is wired to “read” the people around you for threats of pain and opportunities for joy. When your brain senses the threat of pain, it ignites your body’s autonomic nervous system to respond and you experience stress. Prolonged threats and an overstimulated bodily threat response system lead to emotional distress. This happens automatically and often without your conscious awareness. And such relational distress can quite literally travel through a group of people in milliseconds.

How to Feel More Connected

So what to do? Well, first apply what you learned in the previous posts to strengthen your relationship with yourself and your relational dependence on God. Self-awareness and God-awareness are fundamental building blocks for being able to live in relationships with others.

Second, begin practicing openness with some safe people in your life. Here are a few ideas for doing that:

Communicate gratitude.

Intentionally noticing good in others and sharing your gratitude with them “lights up” the relational pleasure center of your brain and releases the all-important hormone dopamine into your system.

Give and receive feedback.

Regularly practice sharing what is helpful in your relationship with a person and what is not helpful. Keep in mind, the ratio is important! Positive feedback is needed at a higher ratio than negative feedback. Provide at least 2 compliments for every complaint (some research even points to a 5-to-1 ratio). The 2-to-1 ratio can be easily accomplished with a feedback “sandwich:” complement-complaint-complement. 

Share “withholds.”

This is similar to the previous idea, but the focus is on how much you often don’t say in a relationship. At the end of a day (or every few days), take time to think through what you “edited out” of your communication with a person and then purposely tell them. The ratio and sandwich principles in #2 also apply here.

Listen for emotions rather than problems.

Then validate the emotions. When your threat response system is activated, people become problems to solve rather than persons to love. Listening, reflecting, and empathizing with another’s emotions greatly increases your attachment bond with them.

Learn More About Stress & Distress From a Christian Therapist

You can also learn more in the following posts in our 4-part series on stress and distress from a biblical standpoint:

1. Why Am I So Stressed
2. The Internal Dynamics of Stress
3. Distress & Worship
4. Distress & Belonging

CONSIDER ONLINE THERAPY IN OREGON FOR CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

Our Clackamas and Hillsboro-based counselors are excited to work with you, wherever you are in Oregon. Your relationships can thrive again. We can help you get back on track in a way that aligns with your faith and values. When you are ready to start online Christian counseling in Oregon, follow these simple steps:

1. Learn about our therapy team in Hillsboro and our caring counselors in Clackamas
2. Schedule an appointment with your preferred therapist, or contact us with questions
3. Feel more connected to the important people in your life

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AT LIFE DISCOVERY COUNSELING IN OREGON

If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, or Hillsboro, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Christian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

About the Author

Shane Fookes is a graduate of Western Seminary’s Counseling program and a Licensed Professional Counseling Intern. He was previously a pastor and is still involved in churches, and writes about marriage and relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and spiritual development.

The post Distress and Belonging (Stress and Distress): Part 4 of 4 first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

This is the 3rd post in a 4-part series on Stress and Distress. The first post introduced the idea that stress occurs when you experience disruption in your relationship with yourself, with God, or with another person. The second post addressed disruptions in your relationship with yourself. This post focuses on disruptions in your relationship with God.

Crying Out to God: Stress and Distress

Distressing experiences often provoke us to cry out to God. Sometimes the cry is one of desperation, “God where are you?” Other times it comes in the form of a curse: actually cursing God, angrily denying the existence of God, or invoking a curse in the name of God like “God Dammit!” Sometimes it’s a simple cry for help. We cry out to God because distressing experiences confront our inability to manage or control our circumstances. 

This makes sense in the Christian worldview. We are created as dependent beings, designed to depend on our Creator God. Dependence on God is the foundation for worshipping God. You may think of worship as merely a genre of music or something you do when you sing in church. But worship is so much more than that. All life is worship! We worship as we breathe. At any given moment, the question isn’t IF you’re worshiping, but what or whom you are worshipping. God through the Bible invites us to repent, to turn from whatever you are worshiping in a moment, and return to worshiping God. If you want to know what you’re worshiping instead of God, read on.

Consider these questions when you feel distressed:

…what or who do you turn to first for hope and help?

…what or who do you think is necessary for “the good life.”

…what or who can you not live without?

This happens in small ways every day. You make plans with someone and they bail on you. How do you respond? You have a deadline to meet at work, but your co-worker hasn’t delivered you what you need to get the job done. What do you do? You’re late for work and your kids are slow getting their things together to leave for school. How do you handle it? Your distress is real AND it says something about what you worship. This is even more noticeable during big life changes and transitions – the loss of a job, the breakup of a marriage, the death of someone important. 

Distress and Shame

At least some of your distress in such situations results from shame before God. You question how God could ever welcome such a failure. You avoid God because you cannot fathom God receiving you as you are. You do this even though God’s response to those who come to him in distress is clear and consistent in the Bible. Over and over you see God respond with gentleness and kindness to those who are distressed. One of God’s most repeated promises is: “You need not fear, for I am with you.” 

Stress and Distress: Release

When you’re experiencing emotional distress, God invites you to release the person, the experience, the desire, or the expectation that you’re clinging to. So much of your distress comes from demanding that someone or something come through for you in a way only God can. “I have to have that job.” “I cannot lose this relationship.” “That dream must come true.” Life is full of pain and loss and grief. Your impulse to avoid loss and grief is a huge contributor to your distress. 

Turning to Jesus in Times of Stress

Jesus gives us glimpses into God’s invitation to come to him in times of distress. For example, notice what happened when Jesus encountered a woman caught in sexual sin (John 8:1-11). Instead of confronting her or shaming her about her sin, he confronted her accusers and invited them to deal with themselves before God. Jesus then extended grace to the woman both by welcoming her and by encouraging her to turn from her sin. 

God is Here, a Christian Counselor Can Help

God’s message to those who turn to him in distress is clear: “I hear you. I see you. I feel you. I love you. You are welcome here with me. Nothing required. Nothing condemned. Grace upon grace. Release this (person, experience, desire, expectation) to me and trust me. I will provide for you.”

This understanding of the power of “God with you” is what a Christian counselor seeks to emulate and model to all who come with their distress looking for hope and help.

Learn More About Stress & Distress

You can also learn more in the following posts in our 4-part series on stress and distress:

1. Why Am I So Stressed
2. The Internal Dynamics of Stress
3. Distress & Worship
4. Distress & Belonging

CONSIDER ONLINE THERAPY IN OREGON FOR CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

Our Clackamas and Hillsboro-based counselors are excited to work with you, wherever you are in Oregon. Your relationships can thrive again. We can help you get back on track in a way that aligns with your faith and values. When you are ready to start online Christian counseling in Oregon, follow these simple steps:

1. Learn about our therapy team in Hillsboro and our caring counselors in Clackamas
2. Schedule an appointment with your preferred therapist, or contact us with questions
3. Feel more connected to the important people in your life

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AT LIFE DISCOVERY COUNSELING IN OREGON

If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, or Hillsboro, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Christian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

About the Author

Shane Fookes is a graduate of Western Seminary’s Counseling program and a Licensed Professional Counseling Intern. He was previously a pastor and is still involved in churches, and writes about marriage and relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and spiritual development.

The post Distress and Worship (Stress and Distress): Part 3 of 4 first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

This is the 2nd post in a 4-part series on Stress and Distress. The first post about distress introduced the idea that stress occurs when you experience disruption in your relationship with yourself, with God, or with another person. This post addresses distress in your relationship with yourself. The concept of a relationship with self may seem unusual to you. If that’s the case, I hope you’ll understand it and appreciate its importance by the end of this post!

How Do Stress and Distress Show Up in Life?

Remember how you felt during crucial moments in your life? Moments like an important job interview, a first date, or that presentation you gave in front of your boss, your boss’s boss, and your boss’s boss’s boss?! Your heartbeat quickened, your hands felt clammy, your legs started trembling, and you found it hard to breathe, right? Something similar happens – though more suddenly – when something surprises you. Like encountering a snake on your favorite running trail or hearing a sudden loud noise behind you. Fascinatingly, you don’t even have to experience an actual event to have this bodily reaction. Merely anticipating or imagining an event can provoke the same reactions! Sometimes we even purposefully provoke this body response when we ride roller coasters, watch horror movies, and take part in similar activities. This bodily experience is called stress. 

Stress is Necessary

Stress is a wonderful and natural part of your biology that prepares you to respond to a threat to your well-being. You experience stress when you face something beyond your capability or understanding. Physiologically speaking, stress involves the limbic part of your brain and the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) in your body. You feel stress when your limbic brain senses a threat and ignites the SNS. The SNS releases hormones – primarily cortisol and adrenaline – to stimulate your body to respond to the threat. This is commonly referred to as the “fight, flight, or freeze” body response. Thankfully, your body has another system connected to your limbic brain, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS helps your body “rest and digest.” The PNS counteracts stress and helps your body recover from it. When either system is activated, your body does what your body was designed to do!

Distress is Harmful

Of course, not all experiences of stress are wonderful and helpful. Prolonged periods of stress overtax your SNS and put your body in distress. Too much of a good thing becomes destructive! Troublingly, we live in a culture that values and rewards overusing the SNS. And when our SNS can’t produce enough stimulus, we have products like caffeine and amphetamines readily available to hyper-stimulate our nervous system. In addition, unresolved traumatic experiences “program” the SNS to respond to ordinary stressful situations in an outsized manner. We live in distressing times.

How to Biblically Navigate Stress and Distress

As human beings, we face a dilemma. Our internal capacity to think and yearn and create are immense and diverse. Yet, we remain finite beings in an infinite space. We are designed by God as dependent creatures with a great deal of independence. The writer of Ecclesiastes in the Bible captured the dilemma this way: 

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT)

When you operate outside the bounds of God’s design, you create a disconnect in your relationship with your own body. This may work for a while (for some people a long while). But eventually, your body will let you know of the disconnect through physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual distress. 

Stress Counseling and Mindfulness

If you are experiencing distress right now, you can move toward health first by expressing gratitude for your body. You are wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14) Secondly, give attention to what is provoking your distress. Notice any aspect of your life where you feel stuck or overwhelmed. Maybe it’s money problems, an unhappy marriage, or trouble at work. Third, begin training yourself to calm your body by engaging your PNS. Regularly practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you accomplish this.

Anxiety Treatment Can Help

If you find yourself in a place of chronic distress, help is available! A Christian counselor can help you find healing in each of the four dimensions of distress. If past hurts and traumatic experiences are provoking the distress, EMDR can be an effective PTSD treatment modality.

Learn More About Stress & Distress

You can also learn more in the following posts in our 4-part series on lament:

1. Why Am I So Stressed?
2. The Internal Dynamics of Stress
3. Distress & Worship
4. Distress & Belonging

CONSIDER ONLINE THERAPY IN OREGON FOR CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

Our Clackamas and Hillsboro-based counselors are excited to work with you, wherever you are in Oregon. Stress counseling and anxiety treatment can help you thrive again. We can help you get back on track in a way that aligns with your faith and values. When you are ready to start online Christian counseling in Oregon, follow these simple steps:

1. Learn about our therapy team in Hillsboro and our caring counselors in Clackamas
2. Schedule an appointment with your preferred therapist, or contact us with questions
3. Feel more connected to the important people in your life

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AT LIFE DISCOVERY COUNSELING IN OREGON

If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, or Hillsboro, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Christian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

About the Author

Shane Fookes is a graduate of Western Seminary’s Counseling program and a Licensed Professional Counseling Intern. He was previously a pastor and is still involved in churches, and writes about marriage and relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and spiritual development.

The post The Internal Dynamics of Stress (Stress and Distress): Part 2 of 4 first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

“I’m stressed out!”

A friend recently said this shortly after we sat down over a cup of coffee. His exclamation is a major theme in our culture right now. Distress. We face pandemics, racial tensions, political divisions on a national and even global scale. On a personal level, many of us face job uncertainty, relational tension, family instability, and the loss of needed social support from family, friends, church, and other social circles. Not to mention incessant clamoring from a 24/7 cycle of (generally bad) news and social media feeds demanding our attention. Add in pervasive advertising using advanced neuroscience to bypass our conscious defenses to manipulate our attention and behavior…no wonder we’re stressed out!

What Causes Stress and Distress?

In this 4-part series, I want to help you know more about what causes stress and distress. I also want to help you find rest in a stressful world. My basic premise is that you as a human being were designed for relationships in three dimensions – with yourself, with God, and with other people. You experience emotional distress when your relationships are disrupted in one or more of these dimensions. Conversely, you can experience rest, peace, and security by reconnecting relationally in each of these dimensions.

Distress: Rooted in Relationships

Maybe you are surprised that I link distress exclusively to relationships. At first glance, you may see your stress as caused by something like work pressure, money pressure, or other life demands. But think about it: why do you work so hard? What are the reasons you need more money? What happens when you think of working less or having less money? When you pay attention to the fears and compulsions that drive your distress I believe you’ll see they are ultimately relational in nature.

What does the Bible tell us about relationships?

For those who are Christians and look at life through the lens of the Bible, this 3-fold understanding of relationships is found in Jesus’ answer to what’s most important in life:

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40 (NLT).

According to Jesus, our relational engagement with God is fundamental to what it means to be human. When you have peace with God, you have peace with yourself. When you are at peace with yourself, you can experience peace with others. 

An exercise in connecting distress and relationships…

Here’s an exercise that will help you see this connection between distress and relationships in your life. Pause and relax for a moment. Maybe close your eyes and take a couple of slow, deep breaths. Picture yourself in a normal setting where you sometimes experience distress (work, home, social engagement, etc.). Now, imagine you feel 100% confident in yourself and your abilities in that situation. You have absolutely no doubt, confusion, or uncertainty. While holding onto that confidence, imagine a few trusted friends are with you in that situation. You feel 100% comfortable and secure in your relationship with them. No blame, fear, competing for attention, or concern for status. Lastly, imagine you feel 100% certain in the existence and presence of a good God who knows you and loves you. He has your every need covered and his love for you is lavish. After a few moments of imagining this, how much stress do you feel? 

Did that cause you distress?

Did you have trouble completing the exercise? Maybe you had trouble imagining yourself at peace in one or more relational directions. That’s okay. The unwelcome thoughts and emotions that arise while attempting the exercise point to the relational disruptions that currently provoke distress in your life. That knowledge can be helpful in knowing where to start as you seek to “turn the volume down” on your distress.

Learn More About Stress & Distress

In this post, I merely wish to provoke your thinking and invite you to see your experience of distress through a relational lens. In the subsequent posts, I will focus on steps you can take to begin finding peace in each relational dimension. You can also learn more in the following posts in our 4-part series on stress and distress:

1. Why Am I So Stressed?
2. The Internal Dynamics of Stress
3. Distress & Worship
4. Distress & Belonging

CONSIDER ONLINE THERAPY IN OREGON FOR CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

Our Clackamas and Hillsboro-based counselors are excited to work with you, wherever you are in Oregon. Your relationships can thrive again. Stress counseling and anxiety treatment can help. Our therapists are here to help you get back on track in a way that aligns with your faith and values. When you are ready to start online Christian counseling in Oregon, follow these simple steps:

1. Learn about our therapy team in Hillsboro and our caring counselors in Clackamas
2. Schedule an appointment with your preferred therapist, or contact us with questions
3. Feel more connected to the important people in your life

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AT LIFE DISCOVERY COUNSELING IN OREGON

If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, or Hillsboro, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Christian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

About the Author

Shane Fookes is a graduate of Western Seminary’s Counseling program and a Licensed Professional Counseling Intern. He was previously a pastor and is still involved in churches, and writes about marriage and relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and spiritual development.

The post Why Am I So Stressed? (Stress & Distress): Part 1 of 4 first appeared on Life Discovery Counseling Services.

Many people like the idea of counseling and support the increase in mental health awareness that’s happening in our society. They know people need help to better understand themselves. People need guidance and tools. People have blind spots that everyone else can see except them. They know counseling can be beneficial for others – but not them.

Maybe this describes you.

Don’t worry, this is a normal response.

It’s very hard to admit to yourself in this self-sufficient, independence-driven society that you might need help.

Think about all the times in your life, though, that you don’t have any problem asking for help. When your car makes a strange noise you take it to the mechanic. If you notice a strange lump on your body you visit the doctor to get it inspected. When your water heater at home doesn’t seem to be heating things up enough you call the plumber.

Mental health is no different. It’s part of being human that all of us experience. The part that’s unique is that counseling looks at what’s inside of you rather than your physical body. The funny thing is, our thoughts and emotions are connected to our physical bodies so often when we have physical issues they’re the result of something internal.

Okay, so let’s get down to the real question you came here for. How do you know if you need counseling?

Here are several common signs it’s time to start online therapy:

• People around you see something in/about you that is negative but you cannot see it
• You know you come off in a negative way to others but don’t know why
• You have certain experiences (such as a narcissistic parent) that have affected you and you’ve worked hard to not be that way yourself, but worry you might be more similar than you’d like to admit
• You’re seeing the same patterns come up in your life or relationships over and over
• You can’t seem to figure out how to stop a specific behavior or pattern of behavior (such as pornography use)
• Always feeling hopeless, helpless, and despairing about your ability to change
• You feel confident about your ability to change but need some objective guidance

Getting help can do so much for you! Seeing a counselor can help you see what you cannot see, understand it from a more objective perspective, and give you tools to work through it effectively.

Why can’t you do it on your own? Why do you need a counselor?

These are great questions! It’s so much easier to see other people more clearly than we can see ourselves. This is a part of being human. We (at Life Discovery) will even tell you the same thing about ourselves as counselors! Even though we have a lot of self-awareness and practice mindfulness, we understand we can’t see ourselves as well as we’d like.

Getting feedback and an outside perspective on us is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s really just a relationship with someone who’s committed to caring for you and serving your ultimate good. First, you can ask questions in counseling you might feel too afraid or insecure to ask friends or family. Then, you can open up about things that others wouldn’t know what to do with if they heard from you. Finally, you can be completely transparent and yet be completely accepted at the same time.

Within the safety of the therapeutic relationship, you can examine yourself honestly with the support of your counselor. In fact, this might even be easier in online therapy.

You can see yourself differently and learn how to relate better in relationships. You can overcome attachment issues as you learn how to accept your counselor’s acceptance of you. Finally, you can let go of anger and defensiveness as your counselor challenges you without criticizing or rejecting you. Ultimately finding clarity and peace inside.

We hope you’ll consider whether or not it’s time for you to start counseling, and consider working with us on your journey.

BEGIN ONLINE THERAPY IN OREGON

Our Clackamas and Hillsboro based counselors are excited to work with you, wherever you are in Oregon. Anxiety, stress, trauma, depression, and conflict do not have to rule your life. We can help you get back on track in a way that aligns with your faith and values. When you are ready to start online Christian counseling in Oregon, follow these simple steps:

1. Learn about our therapy team in Hillsboro and our caring counselors in Clackamas
2. Schedule an appointment with your preferred therapist, or contact us with questions
3. Begin feeling more calm, confident, and peaceful, from the comfort of your home.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AT LIFE DISCOVERY COUNSELING IN OREGON

No matter what you want to cover in online therapy, we know that you may have more concerns to talk about. Or, you might know someone else who does. If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, or Hillsboro, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinics. Christian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatment, anxiety therapy, trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, relationship issues, marriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

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