Christian Couples Therapy & Better Boundaries

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Image of a couple in jeans holding hands. We can help you build better boundaries with Christian marriage counseling in Hillsboro, OR 97015. Our Christian counselors in Portland Oregon are here to support you. Support your marriage with christian couples therapy in Oregon 97003. Call today! 97205

by Shane Fookes, MA LPC Intern

10 Ways Christian Couples Counseling in Oregon Helps With Boundaries

Boundaries are a critical aspect of any good relationship. Many couples seek professional help when they are unable or unwilling to establish, maintain, and respect personal boundaries. Here are ten ways Christian couples therapy is well suited to help couples find better boundaries:

Gospel Incarnation

A Christian counselor is far from perfect. However, good Christian counselors offer their clients a trust-based relationship grounded in grace. In that way, they incarnate the gospel. In other words, they offer Jesus “with skin on.” In particular, the counselor models what it looks like to be relationally available to someone without taking emotional responsibility for them. Jesus modeled this when he asked those who came to him for help: “What do you want?” (Matthew 20:29-34) This simple question invited them to define their need and take responsibility for expressing it.

Receive Grace in Christian Couples Therapy

Close up image of a woman holding a wedding ring. Have you been searching for "Christian couples counseling near me" around Hillsboro, OR 97007. Get help from Christian counselors in Portland Oregon 97086. Find Grace and forgiveness with Christian couples therapy in Oregon 97123. Call today!

Often, couples arrive at Life Discover Counseling Services because they’ve lost touch with the nature of grace. Grace is the first thing a couple encounters with a Christian counselor. The counselor receives them with grace, offers grace, and invites them to live a life grounded in grace no matter what they’ve done (Ephesians 2:8-9). The grace the couple receives from the counselor provides a vision for the grace they can give and receive each other. This vision of grace includes the understanding that grace can only be given, not demanded.

Maintain Individual Identity

Effective couples master the art of maintaining individual identities within the relationship. Each person has value and offers that value for the benefit of the other. When one or both persons in the relationship lose track of their own value, they often put pressure on the other person to come through for them. Christian couples therapy reminds each person of the identity and value they have before God because of Jesus (Galatians 3:26-29). When a person understands how deeply loved by God they are, they are in a position to follow Jesus’ example and love sacrificially (Ephesians 5:1-2). 

Reestablish Freedom

When boundaries are absent in a relationship, the persons involved lose their freedom. Their demands of the other are, quite frankly, an attempt at enslavement. They put the other person in a position where they MUST come through for them. Christian marriage counseling reminds each person that Jesus set them free from all bondage (Galatians 5:1). The Christian counselor will also point out that a person freed by Jesus, is called to love rather than merely indulging their own desires (Galatians 5:13-14).

Give & Receive Forgiveness

A couple cannot progress past the inevitable hurts that come in marriage without forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting; rather it means releasing the right to punish and hold an offense against the other (Romans 12:14-21). A Christian counselor invites couples into a safe, caring environment where each person has room to communicate their hurt and have it received with grace and understanding. As with grace, the Christian counselor promotes an understanding that in relationships with good boundaries, forgiveness is offered, not demanded (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Strengthen Faith With Christian Couples Therapy

Image of a warm light in cupped hands. Needing " marriage Christian counseling near me" around Hillsboro, OR 97015? We can support your relationship with couples counseling in Hillsboro, OR 97086. Read more from a Christian counselor in Portland Oregon 97205.

Couples usually arrive at the Christian counselor’s office after experiencing a loss of faith and trust in each other. In so doing, they directly or indirectly lose faith in God’s goodness and promises. They also lose faith in each other’s dependability and commitment. The Christian counselor’s faith in God’s provision provides an environment of confidence for the struggling couple. The counselor also offers verbal and non-verbal belief in the couple’s ability to learn new ways to love each other. This helps restore and rebuild a couple’s trust in God and each other as they learn new ways of relating.

Christain Couples Therapy Gives Hope

As Proverb 13:12 succinctly states, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Couples show up to Christian marriage counseling with sick hearts. Christian counselors offer a vision, the possibility of a better marriage on the other side of the present trouble. Christian counselors in essence communicate to couples, “If you don’t have hope for your marriage, borrow some of mine until you regain yours.”

Love That Conquers Fear

Two energies fill the relationship space between couples: fear and love (1 John 4:16-19). When love dominates, each person feels free to be who they are while also staying connected relationally. When fear dominates, the relationship becomes insecure and the couple either becomes emotionally entangled or emotionally distant. The Christian counselor invites each person to entrust himself or herself to God and let God’s love conquer fear. When that happens, the problems they face are reduced to hassles to work through rather than monsters to fear.

Generosity Gives of Self Without Losing Self

The Christian counselor models a trust-based relationship grounded in grace. In this trusting, grace-filled relationship, persons learn who they really are in Christ (Galatians 3:26-29). They also learn that Jesus frees them from any form of obligation to others (Galatians 5:1,13-14). They are then able to care for others and help relieve their burdens without taking responsibility for their burdens (Galatians 6:2-5).

Meaning in Suffering

Image of a couple sitting looking at a green landscape. A Christian counselor lists 10 ways Christian couples therapy helps establish boundaries in Oregon. Get the support your relationship needs with couples counseling in Hillsboro, OR. It all starts by calling today and getting "marriage Christian counseling near me". Reach out today!

We live in a day and age that emphasizes immediate and short-term benefits for our choices. The message we hear with regularity follows along the lines of “do what makes you happy” and “if you don’t like what you have, toss it and get something new.” This cultural message goes against what is observably true about how life actually works and to what the Bible teaches (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4). The Christian counselor knows that personal and relational maturity requires willfully tolerating discomfort for growth. The counselor invites couples to empathize with each other’s struggles and pain. When a couple does this, their relational connection strengthens as they “feel felt” by each other.

Consider Christian Couples Therapy in Oregon to Improve Boundaries

Our Clackamas and Hillsboro-based counselors are excited to work with you, wherever you are in Oregon. Your relationships can thrive again. We can help you get back on track in a way that aligns with your faith and values. When you are ready to start online Christian counseling in Oregon, follow these simple steps:

  1. Learn about our therapy team in Hillsboro and our caring counselors in Clackamas
  2. Schedule an appointment with your preferred therapist, or contact us with questions
  3. Feel more connected to the important people in your life

Other Online Therapy Services at Life Discovery Counseling in Oregon

If you are in Clackamas, Happy Valley, Damascus, or Hillsboro, we can help you in person at one of our comfortable therapy clinicsChristian counseling is the cornerstone of our approach to therapy. Not only do we see adults, but children in counseling too. We also work with depression treatmentanxiety therapytrauma therapy and PTSD treatmentrelationship issuesmarriage problems, and postpartum counseling. No matter where you are in the state, we can provide the support you need with online therapy in Oregon. Once you’re ready to start, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s connect!

Headshot of Shane Fookes, Christian counselor in Clackamas, OR

About the Author

Shane Fookes is a graduate of Western Seminary’s Counseling program and a Licensed Professional Counseling Intern. He was previously a pastor and is still involved in churches, and writes about marriage and relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and spiritual development.

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